I Need It Up, You Need It Down She cook’s and cleans And keep’s things neat And with five in the house That’s no mean feat There’s just one question Though that has me beat Tell me why can she never Work the toilet seat Does My Bum Look Big In This? Does my bum look big in this? Well is the answer no or yes Actually you have a big bum So stop blaming it on the dress Lucky Lotto Despite winning twenty million pound My feet are still firmly on the ground So I am the same despite my good news But I am wearing much better shoes Display Caution We keep a picture of Auntie Grace On the shelf above the fire place Health and safety is our only desire As it keeps the kids away from the fire A Thing Possessed My video recorder is on the blink The things possessed, I’m in no doubt It records the programs I don’t like And plays them back when I go out